Cheer Up! Bridge Humour and Jokes
By Alex J. Coyne © Great Bridge Links
Cracking a joke is a great way to break the ice between a group of players; but what if you don’t know any good bridge jokes? We took care of that for you: Here’s a look at some of the best collected bridge humor available online.
Note: Attributing jokes can be a tough one, so we’ve done our best to edit the jokes only for spelling and style and link back to where we found it. If you spot a joke that shouldn’t be on this list (or belongs to someone else), please let us know and we’ll fix that!
Table Talk and Go Ahead Laugh
Jude Goodwin’s “Go Ahead, Laugh! Collected Bridge Humor”, is available to order from Amazon. Jude Goodwin’s ‘Table Talk’ cartoons have been appearing for more than 30 years in the American Contract Bridge League’s Bulletin. They capture life the way it really is at the bridge table, whether you play in tournaments or with your family and friends in the kitchen.
Bridge Mix. The Bridge Cartoons of Charles M Shulz.
From the mind of Charles M. Schulz, the world’s most beloved cartoonist, comes these funny looks at the game of Bridge. The game, the culture, and the very human foibles of those who play it all come under his masterful attention.
Bill Buttle, Out of Hand
Bill Buttle (based in Ontario, Canada) is a former dentist who took up drawing cartoons post-retirement. His ‘Two’s a Crowd’ and ‘Double Bill’ features have been syndicated in newspapers across the world. Bill’s bridge humour is familiar to serious bridge players since it appears regularly in the ACBL’s monthly Bridge Bulletin (circulation approx. 200,000 monthly).
Out of Hand and Off the Fairway | Out of Hand and Out of Mind
The Origins of Contract Bridge
From “Just What the Doctor Disordered: Early Writings and Cartoons of Dr. Seuss. You can view it on Google Books over here. You can also buy an original copy from e-bay if you’re a serious collector – check out the listing here.
Ted’s Bridge World
Check out some bridge cartoons by Pam Degaines.
Pattaya Bridge Clubs
Check out some bridge cartoons collected from Bridge Plus here.
JOKES, ONE-LINERS, AND STORIES
Bridge Winners One-Liners
If there was a twelve step program to help bridge addicts, the first step would involve counting to 13.
“Sex is like a game of bridge… If you don’t have a good partner, you need a good hand.”
– Attributed to Mae West
Ron Klinger Bridge
‘Would you care for a friendly game of cards?’ ‘No, let’s play bridge.’
Eddie’s Bridge Humor
A lady phones me and asks me if I can teach her mother and her friends starting in mid November. I tell her I can’t until January. She says: “Never mind, they won’t last that long.”
Bucks County Contract Bridge
Giving a man his physical, the doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, “Do you play hockey, soccer, or some physical sport?” “No,” he answered. “I play bridge with my wife.”
“If you were me how would you have played that last hand?”
“Under an assumed name.”
Pattaya Bridge Club
A fellow had made a bad bid and gone for 1400. “I’m sorry,” he said to his partner, “I had a card misplaced.” Asked his partner innocently, “Only one card?”
Bill: My cardiologist says I can’t play bridge.
Tom: Why not? Do you have some kind of heart problem?
Bill: No. He’s just played with me enough to know I’m hopeless.
Bridge for Fun
“Learning she was going to have twins, the bridge playing wife said, “That’s just like my husband. Doubling me when I’m vulnerable.”
Benoni Bridge Club
Teacher called on six-year-old Johnny, the bridge player’s son, to count for the class. “One, two, three,” began Johnny, “four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten-uh, jack, queen, king, ace”