By Alex J. Coyne © Great Bridge Links
Bridge can be serious, but it doesn’t have to be all the time. Over the years, players, writers, and cartoonists have collected a lot of funny moments from the bridge table. This article brings together some of the best jokes, one-liners, and cartoons related to the game. If you’re looking for a laugh—or just a quick break between hands—this list is for you.
Note: Attributing jokes can be difficult. If there’s no ‘author’ indicated, the best that can be done is to give credit to the webpage where the joke was found. We have done this in our lists below. Enjoy!
Table Talk and Go Ahead LaughJude Goodwin’s “Go Ahead, Laugh! Collected Bridge Humor”, is available to order from Amazon. Jude Goodwin’s ‘Table Talk’ cartoons appeared for more than 30 years in the American Contract Bridge League’s Bulletin as well as Daily Bulletins from NABCs. The cartoons capture life the way it really is at the bridge table, whether you play in tournaments or with your family and friends in the kitchen.
From the mind of Charles M. Schulz, the world’s most beloved cartoonist, comes these funny looks at the game of Bridge. The game, the culture, and the very human foibles of those who play it all come under his masterful attention.
Bill Buttle (based in Ontario, Canada) is a former dentist who took up drawing cartoons post-retirement. His ‘Two’s a Crowd’ and ‘Double Bill’ features have been syndicated in newspapers across the world. Bill’s bridge humour is familiar to serious bridge players since it appears regularly in the ACBL’s monthly Bridge Bulletin (circulation approx. 200,000 monthly).
Out of Hand and Off the Fairway | Out of Hand and Out of Mind
Mr. Buttle passed away in January 2020. Here’s a brief look at the life of Bill Buttle and quirky, unforgettable contributions to bridge humour.
http://tedmuller.us/Bridge/PlayersWeLoveToHate.htm
Check out some bridge cartoons by Pam Degaines.
http://www.pattayabridge.com/BridgeCartoons_index.htm
Check out some bridge cartoons collected from Bridge Plus here.
http://bridgewinners.com/article/view/one-liners/
“If there was a twelve step program to help bridge addicts, the first step would involve counting to 13.”
Humourious one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy’s laws and more – here’s their bridge section.
http://www.just-one-liners.com/topic/bridge/
Ron Klinger’s collection of The Lighter Side of Bridge is classic, but unfortunately when his website was updated in 2022 the articles were taken down. We’ve replaced the link with one from The Wayback Machine but apparently none of these work very well.
http://www.ronklingerbridge.com/blog/2436/funny-bridge-game-stories
You’ll find a good serving of Klinger humour in his book (Amazon link) Bridge is Fun. Learn and Laugh with Ron Klinger.
‘Would you care for a friendly game of cards?’ ‘No, let’s play bridge.’
Eddie Kantar’s bridge books are full of jokes, puns, and lighthearted commentary while still being instructional. Many players remember laughing while learning from his texts. You can find a great collection of humour on this page:
http://www.kantarbridge.com/humor.htm
A lady phones me and asks me if I can teach her mother and her friends starting in mid November. I tell her I can’t until January. She says: “Never mind, they won’t last that long.”
https://buxbridge.wordpress.com/jokes-about-bridge/
Giving a man his physical, the doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, “Do you play hockey, soccer, or some physical sport?” “No,” he answered. “I play bridge with my wife.”
“If you were me how would you have played that last hand?”
“Under an assumed name.”
http://www.pattayabridge.com/BridgeJokes_main.htm
A fellow had made a bad bid and gone for 1400. “I’m sorry,” he said to his partner, “I had a card misplaced.” Asked his partner innocently, “Only one card?”
http://www.rpbridge.net/3y01.htm
Bill: My cardiologist says I can’t play bridge.
Tom: Why not? Do you have some kind of heart problem?
Bill: No. He’s just played with me enough to know I’m hopeless.
The website Bridge For Fun is no longer online but their jokes can still be found on the Wayback Machine.
http://www.bridgeforfun.net/bridgejokes.htm
“Learning she was going to have twins, the bridge playing wife said, “That’s just like my husband. Doubling me when I’m vulnerable.”
http://www.elsid.co.za/bridge/jokes/various1.html
Teacher called on six-year-old Johnny, the bridge player’s son, to count for the class. “One, two, three,” began Johnny, “four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten-uh, jack, queen, king, ace”
