Bridge writer Larry Cohen recently got people talking on Bridge Winners with a post about pronouns. He asked: should we keep using “he” for unnamed players, switch to “he/she,” go with singular “they,” or skip pronouns altogether?
The replies came from all over – different generations, different countries, and different writing habits. Some were used to doing it one way. Others had already started changing. What everyone seemed to agree on: the words we use matter.
For decades, “he” was the go-to pronoun in bridge books, rules, and commentary. That’s how a lot of us were taught. Back then, using “they” as a singular pronoun was marked wrong in school.
Some writers stick with “he” out of habit. Others say “he/she” feels awkward. They’re not trying to exclude anyone, but they’re used to writing a certain way.
Now, more writers use singular “they,” especially when the player’s gender isn’t known, or doesn’t matter. Some avoid pronouns and just say “declarer,” “LHO,” or use directions like “North” or “West.” These shifts often come from reader feedback or editorial policies—and from a growing push to be more inclusive.
Writers who’ve made the switch say it helps the whole bridge community feel seen. When “they” might be confusing (like when it refers to a pair), some writers just reword the sentence completely.
Not everyone likes the change. A few players say “they” sounds unclear, especially in bridge where precision matters. Others point out that different languages handle gender differently. What works in one place might not in another.
But most people agree: language changes over time. And newer players, especially younger ones, are already used to gender-neutral terms.
Paul Gibbons brought up a good example in the same Bridge Winners thread. He pointed out that the old English Bridge Union (EBU) rules used “he” everywhere. There was even a note that “he” should be read to include “she.”
When those documents were updated, the EBU switched to using “they” instead. They also rewrote the legal clause to say “words denoting the singular include the plural and vice versa.” The change passed with strong support at the EBU’s annual meeting.
So even the official, formal stuff is starting to catch up.
When “he” shows up in every rulebook, example hand, and strategy guide, it sends a message, maybe not on purpose, but loud and clear: bridge is a guy’s game.
For a lot of women, that’s isolating. It makes you feel like the writing isn’t for you, or that you don’t really belong at the table. Even if “he” was meant to be neutral, it often doesn’t feel that way in practice. And that’s enough to keep people out.
Changing the words we use is one small way to make the game more welcoming—and maybe help it survive.
Related Articles:
Women and Equity in the World of Bridge
Beyond the Boys Club: : Why the World Bridge Tour Needs to Address Gender Diversity
Let’s change all instances of “he” in bridge writing and official documents with “she”? This would quickly highlight the imbalance and bias that the original usage created. Men reading those texts might feel excluded, misrepresented, or wonder why the language doesn’t reflect their presence in the game. This reversal would expose how noticeable and alienating it can be when language consistently refers to one gender, especially in a mixed or diverse environment.
While “he” has often been defended as a so-called “neutral” default, switching to “she” shows that gendered language is rarely perceived as neutral in practice. It can unintentionally signal who the content is really for, and who is considered central to the community. Of course, replacing all “he” with “she” wouldn’t solve the issue—it would simply shift the imbalance.
This modern understanding of gender inclusivity is why many writers now use singular “they” or avoid pronouns altogether, aiming to include everyone without assuming identity.
The entire conversation on Bridge Winners was very active with over 600 comments at last count. As a writer, and a woman, I appreciated everyone’s input. Many thanks to Larry Cohen for getting it all started!
